i have for some time now
not wanted to be here
felt my gravity too queer
lived long on the borders
the far flung edges of tribe

the voices tell me i am medicine
i am world walker
i am the gutted, and re-assembled
antlered avatar
on a mission from god

a lot of times
i cry.
it hurts and
it doesn’t seem fair

why witness the end of everything you love?

but we don’t have the luxury of being normal people
and if we don’t heed the ancestral call
it will be hell for us
in this world and the next
you know in your bones
the gods won’t leave us alone
the only home we will ever know
is the one we will make in our hearts

and when i am bloodied
on my knees; in service to my root
my eyes are wet with gratitude
and my family comes alive for me
in gatorsong and cypress seed, in
starry thick nights of swamp
in fiddlesaw wood cries
cayenne and crawfish boiling
the moon rings
like a bell
and all is well,
i mean, what’s a body for?
if not to break and serve for dinner
to the ones that you love